


Thorn in the Heart

by Hinganbachuru (Twilight_Joltik)



Series: BIG MEGUCA AU [1]
Category: PBG Hardcore series
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comes Back Wrong, M/M, Resurrection, Sort Of, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 16:09:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15319206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilight_Joltik/pseuds/Hinganbachuru
Summary: Todd can revive fallen heroes for a price. Said price varies, but sometimes he overcharges.





	Thorn in the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is all Marco's fault also his fantasy au but like it's mostly just me wanting to write rayzab angst

Ray found himself lying on the ground, a figure in blue robes standing before him. His head was spinning and pounding so hard he could barely keep his eyes open, let alone try to sit up to see the figure better. He tried to force out words, but all that came was a weak groan. 

 

The figure bent down. He could hazily see part of his face- yellow eyes casting a glint onto glasses and an amused smile. “I see you’re awake,” he remarked. His voice echoed even six inches from his face in a way that couldn’t be human. 

 

“I…” Another surge of pain derailed his thoughts. He grimaced. “What… h-happened? Who a-are...”

 

“Well, I’m Todd, and you died,” he answered all too casually. “But, no worries. I brought you back.”

 

“Wh-why?”, Ray stuttered out. He still could barely speak or even process the fact that he’d been dead. What even had happened to him, anyways? He was with Dean, and…

 

Dean. His heart sank. He’d accidentally exposed a lava flow and gotten Dean burned alive before his very eyes. And not long after, he’d run afoul of a Wither Skeleton, which must have been how he died. “I-is Dean-” he started to stutter out. 

 

“Oh, he left not long ago,” Todd assured him. “Seemed alright. Said he wanted to find you. Didn’t have the heart to tell him you’d passed on.”

 

“But I- you were bringing me back…”, Ray mumbled. “Why wouldn’t you-”

 

Todd sighed. “Oh, well, you see, not everyone chooses to come back. I run my revivals at a pretty high price. I couldn’t assure him you would return, and asking him to wait would unfairly influence your decision.”

 

“What price would make someone want to stay dead?”, Ray questioned, his stomach dully churning. 

 

“Well, it all depends,” Todd explained. “I can’t charge the same price for everyone, as the sorts of things I accept as payment aren’t universal. Some people, for example, wouldn’t mind much l if I made their eyesight worse. But your friend Dean, he needs that to fight, so that seemed a fair price to ask of him. But, well, you already have glasses, so I certainly can’t charge that.”

 

Ray tried to sit up, biting the inside of his cheek to distract from the pain elsewhere. “S-so, what’s my price?”, he pressed. 

 

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Todd mused. “I could take your sense of smell, or one of your eyes, or some fond memories, but none of that seems quite right. You’re quite the romantic, aren’t you?”

 

What was that supposed to mean? He tried to suppress the glare he was so very tempted to throw at Todd. “I- I guess?”, he answered tentatively. 

 

“Considering you’re the only person I’ve ever brought back who had roses on their person for no good reason, I’d have to guess it’s a bit more than that,” Todd retorted. 

 

The back of his neck burned. “I- I just like roses! Like having them around. They remind me of a hero from a story I read when I was a kid…”

 

Todd nodded. “Ah yes, they make you feel like a dashing hero. But, I have to assume that attitude was built with someone in mind.”

 

“S-someone in-” Ray huffed. He was just getting pissed off at this point. “I’m not trying to be a flirt! I just like flowers, it’s not that deep!”

 

“I’m just checking to make sure you aren’t in a committed relationship,” Todd assured him. 

 

Ray’s stomach did a few more flips for good measure. “N-no? Why do you ask?”

 

A smirk curled across Todd’s face. “I have a perfect price for you: hopeless infatuation. In return for being brought back to life, you’ll develop incredibly strong romantic feelings for someone who you know for certain wouldn’t return them.”

 

The very thought of him being able to do that made him feel sick. “H-how can you force someone to fall in love?”

 

“I reconstructed your body from a withered corpse. Do you really think just adding an emotional impulse that wasn’t there before is beyond me?”

 

Part of Ray wanted to just stay dead so he wouldn’t have to deal with this guy. But, Dean would just be looking for him forever… Sure, he probably hated him now, but did he really want to just leave Dean to searching endlessly for someone who no longer existed? And what about his other friends? If he died now, there were so many people he’d never see again, and they’d be pretty upset… 

 

“F-fine,” he conceded. “I’ve gotten over dumb crushes before. They suck, but I can deal with it. Just… who is it?”

 

Todd shook his head. “I can’t tell you that.”

 

Before he could reconsider that whole not being dead thing, Ray forced himself to nod. “Okay, fine. Go ahead.”

 

There was a flash of light, and suddenly Todd was gone. He was just sitting in the middle of some weird ruins, all alone. Panic suddenly settled in. He wasn’t dead, but he had no idea where he was or where anyone he knew was. Sure, Dean wasn’t too far, but he had no idea what direction to start looking in. Maybe he could look for a good vantage point, and see what he could find from there? 

 

He ended up climbing on top of some rubble and looking around. There was a town in the distance; he could barely see it, but he was sure it was there. That was the best place to start, especially considering the sun was pretty low in the sky. He seemed to still have most of his belongings on him, so he could pay for a room in an inn there. 

 

As he rushed along, his mind wandered. He’d really been dead, hadn’t he? That was the most bizarre thought, that his heart had stopped beating and his breath had ceased, and yet now he was here, just fine. And Dean… he felt sick thinking of how he’d died. He couldn’t save him, it had been all his fault. His lovely, sweet friend who’d been nothing but kind to him had burned to death because of him. God, he was awful. 

 

Poor Dean had to go through all that too. That was even worse than knowing he’d have to fall in love with someone who didn’t love him, was knowing that Dean had suffered. He didn’t deserve any of that at all, and that was all his fault. What had Todd said his price was, his good eyesight? Well then, it was completely Ray’s fault that he would have to wear glasses now. 

 

He just felt like crying. He was terrified and alone and had no clue what to do, and Dean probably was all that and worse. Dean surely completely loathed him by now, too. Ray wouldn’t ever get to hug him, and he wouldn’t want to hear his apologies either. There was nothing he could do for Dean, and knowing that hurt the most.

 

Wait… he stopped himself for a moment. These raging emotions, all directed at Dean; was this Todd’s curse? Had he found himself falling for Dean? He tried to think about kissing Dean, or holding hands with him, or cuddling him by the fireplace with a dog and a flower garden- okay, that was definitely a crush. The world spun around him. Dean hated him now, but he was completely smitten just at the thought of him. 

 

That was probably the worst possible thing that could happen. Should he even keep looking for Dean? Probably at least to apologize to him. Even if it hurt, it was the right thing to do. He forced himself to keep going, trying hard not to let his thoughts linger on him. 

 

Once in town, he tried to think where he might find Dean. He would hope he was with an optometrist, but would Dean think to do that? It was worth a try, or at least asking there if they’d seen him. 

 

And, indeed they had. Said he’d just left for the inn. Ray found himself sighing in relief. He could apologize and leave and get this all over with. Every step was filled with dread, but he tried to distract himself. It was just a dumb crush. Nothing serious. He would get over Dean hating him. 

 

He met Dean’s eyes as soon as he got in the inn, right at the front counter. He looked nice in glasses, he noted despite himself. As much as he wanted to run, or speak, or do anything at all, he couldn’t. He was just frozen. Dean was rushing towards him, probably to punch him. 

 

It took his mind a minute to process what had actually happened. He didn’t realize Dean was hugging him until he noticed how warm he felt. “Wh-why are you-?”

 

Dean made a sniffling noise. “Oh, Ray… I was so scared I’d never see you again! I know I left you in a bad place, so-”

 

“Y-you didn’t leave me,” Ray stuttered out. “It’s my fault you died… Wh-why are you hugging me? Don’t you hate me now?”

 

Letting go of him, Dean huffed. “Excuse me, but I don’t seem to remember the clause in our friendship contract where it said I’d hate you if you ever fucked up.”

 

“H-huh? But, I-”

 

“No more buts,” Dean demanded. “I wouldn’t care even if you’d personally stabbed me through the heart a thousand times over! You’re my friend, Ray. So you did something dumb, so what? I do about a billion dumb things every day! Would you hold it against me if I got you killed on accident?”

 

“Of course not!”, Ray blurted out. “I could never…” He cut himself off before he could say something dumb. 

 

He was hugged once more. “See? No big deal. Let’s just move on, alright?”

 

Ray’s heart was pounding. This had to be a dream. He was supposed to be doomed to painful love, right? But this didn’t hurt at all… Dean didn’t hate him at all… “O-of course…”, he mumbled. 

 

“Great!”, Dean exclaimed. “How did you know to find me here, anyways? I mean, it was pretty quick…”

 

“U-um… T-Todd told me you’d left before I did,” Ray stuttered out. 

 

Dean’s face fell. “N-no… You too?” Ray just nodded. “W-what was your price?”

 

Well, fuck. He had to say it, didn’t he. If Dean didn’t hate him for accidental murder, then surely he’d hate him for his feelings. “H-he m-made me… f-fall in love w-with someone who wouldn’t like me back…”

 

“Well, that’s total bullshit!”, Dean exclaimed. “Who the fuck wouldn’t like you back? I mean, you’re amazing! Charming and sweet and- okay I know that sounds super gay but you get the point.”

 

Ray felt as if his face would burn off. “Y-you…” was all he could manage. 

 

Sure enough, Dean looked like someone had just shot his puppy in front of him. “N-no…” He was shaking a bit. “P-please, n-not…” He hugged Ray once more. “Ray, please tell me this isn’t true!”

 

“I’m so sorry…” He felt like he was about to collapse. Everything just felt empty. It hurt even worse than he thought it would.

 

Dean let out a sob. “Wh-why would he do this? He already took enough from me, didn’t he? Why would he take you too?”

 

“H-huh?” 

 

“H-how cruel can someone be?”, Dean choked out. “F-forcing the person you love to think they love you back? Why would he do that?”

 

It took a moment for Ray to reverse-engineer the context out of that. “Wait… you aren’t saying you like me, are you?”

 

He couldn’t tell if Dean was laughing or sobbing. Maybe both.  “I like you so much, idiot… How did you not know that? I’ve loved you for forever!”

 

“I d-didn’t think…” Ray felt nauseous. He did this to Dean? How did he not know? Why would he have these dumb, fake feelings? “I should go… I can’t hurt you like this…”

 

The tight hug he’d been locked in suddenly released. “Stay here,” Dean ordered. “I’ll fix this, alright? I’ll talk to Todd.  I don’t want you to hurt too.”

 

Ray couldn’t get a single word out. Dean kissed his forehead. He was sure he’d catch on fire. Dean walked straight out of the inn and outside.

 

Part of him wanted to run after him. Stop him, apologize, or at least do something! But, Dean had asked him to stay there, and the last thing he wanted to do right now was make things worse for him. What was Dean going to do, exactly? Probably try to bargain for his curse to be changed since it hurt Dean more than it hurt him. 

 

But, that wasn’t to say it didn’t hurt him. Knowing Dean loved him but couldn’t be with him ached. Even if his feelings were fake, that didn’t make them hurt any less. He ended up just getting a room and telling the clerk to let Dean know where he was when he got back. He just wanted to sleep that pain away. 

 

It didn’t leave. He couldn’t rest. He just hugged a pillow and cried until his eyes had all dried up, drifting in and out of an uneasy sleep. 

 

His thoughts shifted direction- he felt less pain for himself and more for Dean. He’d been too dumb to notice how he felt, and for that, he made Dean suffer. Why wouldn’t Dean just hate him already? He’d done more than enough to deserve it. Even if Dean couldn’t sway Todd, he knew he needed to leave Dean’s side. He only brought him misfortune! Dean deserved so much better than that.

 

He must have eventually fallen asleep, because a knock on his door woke him up. He opened it to find Dean, beaming and wearing an eyepatch. Ray’s sleepy brain took a moment to process it, but when he did, his heart sank.

 

“N-no… y-you traded him your eye to stop my dumb curse?”, he mumbled.

 

Dean shook his head. “Nah, just won’t be able to see out of it for a few days. He felt bad when I explained it to him!”

 

“I- I still feel bad you did that…”, Ray muttered. “I’m just bringing you bad things, aren’t I?”

 

“Don’t you dare,” Dean said far too loudly for that late at night. “I was willing to trade my soul or life or whatever to help you, okay? No price is too high for making my friend feel better. Your friendship is worth the world to me, you only bring me good, okay?”

 

Ray hugged him, eyes welling up with tears. “Th-thank you…” As he was hugged back, he felt something gentle and warm. Love really did feel nice… He almost wished he didn’t have to lose it and he could stay in love with Dean forever. But, that would only hurt his Dean. 

 

“W-when does the curse wear off?”, he asked shakily. 

 

“...a few hours ago?”

 

His whole body tensed up. “Then… wh-why do I still… why do your arms still feel so nice? Why am I so happy you care so much?”

 

It took a moment for Dean to respond, but he finally seemed to process it all and pulled Ray into his lap, sitting on the bed. “This must be a dream,” Dean murmured. “At the end of all this, my brain must just be being kind to me for once. It’s not possible that you’ve actually fallen for me, right?”

 

Ray burrowed his head into the crook of his neck. “I don’t know. It feels different. It doesn’t hurt anymore...”

 

“Love only hurts if it’s not returned,” Dean countered, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. “...and I’m not hurting anymore either.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
